Narrow Stairs
by nrfame
Summary: She let him go to let him be happy. Little did she know that she was his happiness. Meredith and Mark! AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Narrow Stairs – Chapter One.**

**I'm excited about this story and I hope you are too. It's going to Meredith and Mark because I feel like I should write them a story because I stopped their relationship from continuing to something better in "same as you" which you should read if you haven't. **

**This story is going to be full of love, happiness, fear and memories. **

**I kinda got this idea from "Cath…" and "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie. However, don't get it wrong. I'm not writing a song fic. So it isn't based on the song, I just got the idea. Also, no one is a doctor in this fic. Not even Cristina, even if she is a hard core surgeon. Haha. I might steal some sentences from Grey's Anatomy but not very often. **

**I hope you like this story. If you will, please review it. Even if you don't like it, tell me. I appreciate all reviews.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. Although I do wish that I do. Owning Grey's would be fun. **

This wasn't right, not right at all. She wasn't supposed to be here, hearing the sounds of her friends around her telling her that she was beautiful and that they were so jealous of her. No, she wasn't supposed to be here right now. Right now, she should be in his arms, watching television while eating cold pizza. She wasn't supposed to be getting ready for a wedding. A wedding that was scary and she wasn't even sure if she was ready for it.

Meredith was getting married to the perfect guy, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to marry him. Yes, he made her smile. Yes, he made her laugh. Yes, he made her feel safe. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, they would have cute kids. Yes, they would live a great life. However, something felt off. Something felt wrong. Something felt like it was missing.

Meredith looked at herself in the mirror of the bridal shop. She looked upon her dress. It was made of lace and chiffon. It was soft and flowy. Yet, it showed off her curves. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders in soft waves. She looked like a bride, but she didn't feel like one. She knew that she needed to start thinking positive so she turned around to her friends and smiled at them. She really did love the dress, something just felt wrong.

"So what do you think?" She asked, hoping the she played the happy bride card right.

"Mer, you look beautiful. That dress is perfect." Izzie exclaimed, walking over to her and fluffing out the dress a little more. Izzie made there was no creases in the dress.

"Thank you Izzie." Meredith smiled at her friend. "I love this dress." She half-way lied. She did love the dress, but something was missing. Meredith looked over to her person and smiled.

"What do you think Cris? I need to know what my Maid of Honor thinks." She says in a teasing tone as she watches Cristina.

Cristina stands up off the bench and walks over to Meredith giving her a look that says "i know what is going through your head". Meredith shakes her head, looking down to the ground, asking Cristina in a silent language to not talk about it right now. Cristina just shrugs her shoulders, standing in front of Meredith.

"You look good." Meredith laughed softly.

"Thanks." Meredith said, understanding Cristina. Her person wasn't into things mushy or too cheery.

Cristina was her best friend. They had been through everything together. They had gone through grade school, middle school, high school, and college together. They had become friends in Kindergarten and stayed friends through everything life put in their way. Meredith had been there for Cristina when her father had died. Cristina in return had been there for Meredith when her father died and her mother married Richard Webber. They had gone through the awkward stages together. They were there for each other when they got their first boyfriends. They had died their hair together: Meredith, pink and Cristina, green. They graduated high school both of them tied for Valedictorian. They went to Stanford together, getting drunk and getting good grades. They were all each other really had.

Cristina pushed Meredith and made her turn around, a grin on her face. "What do you think bride? You are the one going to be wearing this on that day that will change your life forever." Meredith knew what the grin and words meant. They weren't exactly what someone would think when they heard those words. They were more of a way to tell Meredith that they were going to talk and they were going to talk about a certain event that had already changed Meredith's life.

"I love my dress." Meredith challenged.

"Mer…are you going to put your hair up on your wedding day?" Izzie asked, grabbing Meredith's hair softly and putting it in a low bun on the back of Meredith's neck.

"I don't know yet, Izzie." Meredith turned to Izzie.

Izzie had been Meredith's bright and shiny friend. They met in college, going to many of the same classes together. They shared an apartment with Cristina their junior year of college. And through everything they went through, Izzie still didn't know a lot about Meredith.

"We should get our nails done. You should tan, because you are a little pale. No offense. And you should let a professional do your make-up that day…" Izzie went on and on about all the things that she should do for her wedding. Meredith laughed a little here and there, telling Izzie that it was going to be okay. She would have everything done. However, the exterior was completely opposite from the interior.

Meredith tried to forget about what was going through her mind, but she couldn't. Was she really supposed to be getting married right now? Shouldn't she be happy? Shouldn't she be all bright and shiny like Izzie was? Meredith shook her head as she walked away from the scene, telling her friends that she would be back. They said okay and went back to sitting on the bench. Meredith was sitting in her changing room, putting her head into her hands as she thought about what she really wanted. What she really wanted was to be back in his arms – feeling safe and comfortable and courageous. Every time she was in his arms, she felt like she knew where she belonged, like she knew what she was supposed to be doing. But this whole wedding thing was kind of ruining her happy mood.

Meredith took off her dress and then put her jeans and Dartmouth t-shirt back on. She put the dress back in the bag and walked up to the counter. The sales lady asked her if she was buying the dress today. Cristina had scoffed, Izzie laughed, and Meredith bought the dress - all the while thinking that this wasn't the right thing for her. This wasn't right, this wasn't her day, and she wasn't supposed to be here.

**Please comment and let me know what you think. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Narrow Stairs – Chapter Two.**

**So, this is chapter two. It might explain a little more about what is going on with Meredith. Who is she marrying? Who is she thinking about? I hope you like it. And like always, please leave love. Mwah.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. But the images in my head of what it might be if I were to own it are amazing. **

Meredith, Cristina and Izzie were all singing to "Like a Virgin" on the radio, as they laughed hysterically. All of them loved this song, and they really didn't know why. Meredith and Cristina didn't like Madonna, and Izzie didn't like the meaning of the song. However, here they were driving on the highway singing the song at the top of their lungs, shaking their heads and body.

The song ended and the radio announcer started its hourly traffic report. It was the middle of the day and there weren't very many cars on the road. So, the traffic report wasn't needed. The announcer said that there weren't any known accidents and the weather wasn't conflicting with driving conditions.

Cristina turned off the highway and headed towards Izzie's house. She looked in the mirror and looked back at Meredith.

"So…what was your favorite part of today?" Izzie and Meredith both looked at Cristina like she was crazy. Cristina didn't ask how somebody's day was. Cristina just wasn't like that.

"Um…" Meredith stammered. She was forgetting about all of her feelings from the bridal shop and now here Cristina was asking her favorite part. Sometimes Meredith wondered why Cristina was her person. "I loved finding my dress." She said raising an eyebrow up at Cristina, wondering what she was up to.

The car got silent afterwards, until they arrived at Izzie's apartment complex. Meredith got out of the car and then walked around and gave Izzie a hug. It was the only way that she could think of that would tell Izzie how much she appreciated her without the awkwardness of words. Izzie hugged her back, letting Meredith know that she was welcoming.

"Thank you for letting me go with you. I haven't had that much fun since…well a while." Izzie laughed.

"You're welcome Izzie. You're in my bridal party. You had a right to come."

Izzie walked away from the car and through the doors to her apartment. Meredith reluctantly stepped in the car and sat down in the front seat. She knew that the grilling was about to begin.

Cristina kept her eyes on the windshield and started driving. Meredith was surprised that the questions weren't being fired at her. They drove back on to the freeway. The silence was deafening. Meredith couldn't handle it anymore, maybe it was guilt.

"Cristina." Meredith said cautiously.

Cristina turned her head towards Meredith, "yes Meredith?" She asked calmly.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Cristina said turning back to the road.

"No. I don't know." Meredith said, turning her body towards her person.

"Don't lie to me." Cristina said softly.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"I'm…" Meredith was cut off my Cristina. Cristina's anger was rising.

"You are, because you know we have been person's for a while now and I think I know what my person is thinking. I've seen her like this several times." Cristina said, raising her voice only a decibel. Meredith stayed quiet, because she knew that Cristina was right.

"Fine." Cristina said as Meredith stayed silent. "You will tell me."

"Fine, but not right now." Meredith said, in a slight begging tone.

"Okay.

Meredith was grateful that her person didn't make her speak anymore on the topic right now, when she herself didn't know what was going on.

They drove with silence between them, but music on the radio as a background. Cristina turned back off the highway and headed for the ferry boats. Meredith looked down to her hands as they tugged on each other hoping to erase the stress in her mind. It was a habit that she had learned from her mother. The ferry boats weren't the way to either of their homes. However, it was the place that Cristina and Meredith talked. If either one of them were to need each other, they texted each other saying "ferry boats" meaning to meet at the ferry boats so that they could talk.

They waited in line to get on the ferry boat after Cristina parked the car. They walked in silence up to the boat and went to their spot. It wasn't technically their spot, because they didn't get on the same boat each time, but they went to the same place on the boat each time.

The boat started moving and Cristina and Meredith watched the waves created by the massive structure in the water.

"So…" Cristina started, knowing Meredith wouldn't start on her own.

"I don't know."

Cristina nodded her head. She knew that Meredith really didn't know what was going on. However, Cristina did know that something was going on. It had been bothering Meredith ever since they had found the "perfect dress".

"Okay…what were you thinking when you put on that dress? Because I know that is when it really started."

Meredith's mind was going back to the shop, and she looked at herself in the mirror in the beautiful gown.

"I was thinking about how it didn't feel right. I shouldn't be looking for gowns yet. I should be in his arms…" Meredith drug on and put her crossed arms on the boat's edge.

Cristina turned her body towards Meredith and put her hand on her person's shoulder. "You know…" Cristina was interrupted by Meredith.

"I know that I did this, I just wasn't ready. I was happy with where I was with him. I wasn't expecting him to tell me that he loved me that much."

Cristina nodded and Meredith went into her own little world, thinking about that day when she ended her life in an emotional way.

_*********_

_Meredith was getting ready for her date with him. She smiled at him through the mirror and he smiled back, standing up and walking towards her. Meredith was putting more lip gloss on. She watched as he walked over to her and placed his hands on her hips. _

"_Hello beautiful." He whispered in her ear before he kissed her ear lobe softly. She giggled softly and leaned into his body's warmth._

"_Hello handsome."She teased him. She wondered what was with her new nickname. _

_Mark and her weren't the ones for nicknames. Except for when they first became friends. However, their nicknames were only Grey and Sloan. Nothing passionate. That wasn't like them. _

"_Are you ready?" He asked, standing up straight but still smiling at her with his masculine hands on her hips. She nodded her head and his grin only grew. She smiled back at him. _

"_So…are you going to tell me where you are taking me?" She asked, and he shook his head 'no'. Mark knew that Meredith wasn't into surprises, but it seemed that he didn't care – at least not tonight. _

_She turned around keeping his arms around her and putting her arms around his waist as she looked into his grayish-blue eyes. "Pleeeease." She begged, but he still shook his head no. She pouted then thought of another plan, she leaned up and kissed his lips. "What about now?" She smiled, her already dark green eyes, getting darker. _

_He laughed at her attempt and once again shook his head 'no'. "Mer…I told you I wasn't going to tell you. This is really special, I can't spoil the surprise now can i?" He asked, grabbing her hand and walking out of their room. _

"_Yes you can." She insisted, following him. She grabbed her purse and then walked out the door with him. Little did Meredith know that this was the last night that her and Mark would come into this house together, happily. _

_They drove to their favorite spot in New York City, The River Café. The River Café had the most spectacular view, especially at night. It showed them the beautiful skyline of New York City. Meredith smiled at Mark as they walked together, hand in hand, into the café. They were greeted pleasantly by the waitress who showed them to their table. Mark ordered them both water and a bottle of their most expensive champagne. _

"_What's the occasion Mark?" Meredith teased him. Neither Mark, nor her were champagne people. They were both beer and hard liquor people. Meredith's poison of choice was tequila and for Mark it was single malt scotch. _

"_It's a very special occasion." Mark stated, grabbing her hand over the table. _

_Meredith's heart started to pound loudly as Mark held her hand and told her something was "special". Her eyes went wide after Mark looked down to his menu, but then Meredith stopped herself before she started to hyperventilate. She couldn't think about what she was thinking about. She couldn't think that Mark was about to propose to her. No. They weren't that type of couple. Did they love each other? Yes. However, were they ready? Meredith didn't know. _

_The waitress came back and gave them their drinks and poured each of them a glass of champagne. The waitress was about to take the champagne back. However, Meredith stopped her. _

"_You can leave that here." Mark let out a small laugh and the waitress left the bottle on the table. _

"_Mer…" Meredith looked back at Mark. _

"_I'll pay for it if you that's a problem Mark." Mark shook his head at her with a small grin on his face. _

"_Meredith…that is not a problem. You know that I am a top-notch lawyer right?" Mark teased her. _

"_Yeah…I know that."Meredith said, looking down at her hands._

_Mark watched her carefully. "Meredith…what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Why would you think that? I mean…do I look like something's wrong?" Meredith rambled shortly. _

"_You look like something is bothering you." Mark said, reaching his hand across the table. Meredith put her hand on the table and in Mark's. It was the only way that she could calm down. Meredith took a deep breath. _

"_I'm good. I'm sorry." Meredith said and smiled at Mark. She didn't need to worry about Mark proposing. She would say yes. Meredith knew that Mark was the love of her life, even if she didn't believe in that type of stuff. She could spend the rest of her life with Mark and be happy. She loved him with all of her heart. She never regretted anything between them, even their fights. It just proved how much they had grown as people and how much they loved each other. _

_They ordered their dinner and started with a casual conversation. _

_It was getting towards the end of the dinner and Meredith had already forgotten about her momentary freak out. Mark had ordered both of them a piece of cheesecake -a piece of cheesecake with strawberries on it for Meredith and a plain piece of cheesecake for himself. _

"_Meredith. I need to tell you something." He said as the waitress was away. He looked down to his lap and then back up to her, as if he was nervous yet excited. His eyes glimmered with childhood hope. _

"_Okay." Okay, so Meredith was nervous again._

"_So…you know how much I love you right?"Mark asked, and watched as Meredith shook her head. Of course he loved her, she loved him too._

"_Yeah. I love you too." Meredith said, in case he needed reassurance. _

"_Well…I got a job." _

_Meredith wasn't expecting this. She was more expecting, something that consisted with three words: "Marry me. Please." Not that he got a job. Anyways…he already had a great job. He worked for the top people and now he was telling her that he found a different job. Something just wasn't adding up. _

"_You got a job." Meredith said slowly…trying to configure it all._

"_Yeah."_

"_Okay."_

"_Okay?" Mark asked. _

"_Where's this job?" Meredith decided to ask. _

"_It's in Miami, Florida."Meredith's face fell. It was like her world was crashing down around her. She laughed at the irony of it all. When they first came to the restaurant she was thinking that he was going to propose and that was going to ruin her world. _

"_I want you to come with me." Mark said, seeing how tears were about to fall from her beautiful green eyes. _

"_Mark…I can't." Mark's heart began to break at this statement. The love of his life didn't want to go with him. "I want to, but I can't."Mark looked down to his legs. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She was supposed to be coming with him. _

"_Meredith…" He said softly and it was evident just from his straining voice that he wasn't wanting to cry. However, he looked up at her and he smiled. _

"_I won't take the job. I want to stay here with you."_

"_No."_

"_No?"_

"_No you can't. If the job is better, then you should go to Miami."Meredith said, although the tears were threatening to fall._

"_Meredith…nothing is more important to me than you." He said confidently, hoping to make her realize that it was the truth._

"_Mark. I can't stop you."_

"_You aren't stopping me Meredith. I want to stay here with you."_

"_No…Mark, we can't be together if it means that you jeopardize your career."Meredith said looking down to her hands. _

"_Meredith…that is a bunch of shit and you know it. I have a good job here and I can be with you here. Don't end this. Please." He begged, but his voice was still angry. He couldn't believe that his Meredith, HIS MEREDITH was wanting to end this. They were great together and they loved each other. A part of Mark wanted to go hurt her mother, but he wasn't going to do that even if the reason Meredith was doing this was her mother. _

_Meredith stood up. "Please… Meredith. I love you more than anything in the world."Mark stayed sitting down and looked at Meredith as she stood up. _

"_I can't give you everything you want."_

_Both of their hearts were breaking at these few words. Meredith hadn't wanted to say them, but she knew that he would never move on to a better job without her. So she broke their ties. She wanted to go with him, but she was in her last year of college. She couldn't leave the city. Meredith left the restaurant, feeling herself being pulled away from her heart. Her heart was with Mark and Mark's heart was with Meredith. _

_If Meredith would have stayed she would have heard Mark tell her that she was everything that he wanted, everything that he needed – Meredith was his everything. _

_That night two hearts were broken and never really healed_

_******_

Meredith looked back at Cristina with tears falling down her face. "God, Cristina I love him."

Cristina knew who she was talking about and sadly Cristina couldn't say anything, because if she did she knew that she would break her heart and she couldn't do that.

Plus, both of them knew whose fault it was that this happened anyways: it was Meredith's. She let the love of her life go, and now she was suffering from it.

_I have to face the truth, that no one could ever look at me like you do  
like I'm something worth holding on to_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Narrow Stairs. **

**I hope that you like this story so far. I like writing, even if I have only written two chapters. Anyway…on with the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, because if I did Meredith and Mark would have finished their date while Derek was on his camping trip. I'm not saying that Meredith and Mark should have been together, just that they deserved the chance to see where it would have gone. **

Today had been an emotional mountain for Meredith. Her day had started out fine, then she put on that stupid dress and she started feeling horrible, and finally Cristina made her relive the moment that she would forever regret.

To say that Meredith was unhappy with the relationship she was currently in was lying. She was happy. Michael took care of her and he loved her. He loved her so much that they were going to get married in two months. Michael was such a great guy, he deserved the best that the world could offer him. However, Meredith didn't love him like she loved Mark. She couldn't love anybody like she loved Mark. Mark was different from every other man. Mark would always be different from other men.

Meredith would always love Mark with everything that she had. Even after the six years that they had been apart, her heart still jumped out of her throat when she heard the name Mark or even when she was going through her list of contacts and Mark's name came up. Meredith knew that it was ridiculous to keep Mark's number in her phone because he could have changed his number, but she couldn't delete it. She still had all of their pictures and everything that Mark had ever given her. Her heart wouldn't let her get rid of it.

Meredith was sitting on her bed and looking at the two boxes of everything that had reminded her of Mark. There were pictures, letters, teddy bears, books, shirts, covers, and the promise ring.

Meredith took everything out of the box, reminiscing over every item. She looked at the pictures, tracing the outline of his face. She laughed when a caricature came up. She read the letters, and fresh tears fell from her eyes. She squeezed the teddy bears. She looked at the cover of the book. She sniffed the shirts, even if his scent was long gone from them. She put the covers aside. Then after everything else she looked at the promise ring.

It was enclosed in a black satin box, and when she opened it her heart began to hurt even worse, because she remembered exactly what the day was and all the details.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

_The day was beautiful. It was warm, there was a soft breeze, and the sun was shining brightly. That's why both Meredith and Mark were outside. They had been cooped up in their house, not that they were complaining they had fun, but they just wanted to get out. _

_They were walking down the sidewalk of Central Park and were laughing at what a teenage had just said as he passed by them. Apparently Meredith had make-out hair. Meredith looked over at Mark, her arms crossed over her chest and she pouted. _

"_Mark…fix my hair." She laughed._

"_Why do I have to fix your hair?" Mark said, smirking at her, honestly he liked it when she had sex, or make-out, hair. _

"_You were the one that messed it up." Meredith said taking a step towards him, still pouting but with a playful smile in her eyes._

"_I was not."_

"_You were too."_

"_No I wasn't."_

"_Yes."_

"_No."_

"_Yes."_

"_No I wasn't." Mark said stepping closer to his girlfriend._

"_Then who was it?" Meredith said, uncrossing her arms and putting them around Mark._

"_I don't know…you tell me." _

"_Well…I didn't want to tell you." Meredith said with a serious look on her face. Mark smirked at her._

"_You didn't want to tell me what Meredith?"_

"_Well…I'm seeing this other guy." She said, keeping her act up._

"_What does this guy look like? So I can go beat him up."Mark said, stepping away from Meredith, looking around them._

"_Well…he has dark brown hair and the most gorgeous blue-grey colored eyes." Meredith said, smirking at him._

"_What else?" Mark asked her looking back at him. _

"_He's muscular, but not too muscular, the perfect amount of muscles. So I don't think you could beat him up." Meredith laughed and Mark smiled at her._

"_What else?"_

"_I love him." _

"_He loves you too." Mark smiled and Meredith placed her arms around him once again._

"_I know."_

"_Good." _

"_I love you more though, Meredith."_

"_I love you too Mark." She repeated softly as she looked from his eyes to his lips. _

_Mark put his strong arms around Meredith and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss sent electricity to all parts of their bodies, starting from the tops of their head to the bottom of their feet. They reluctantly pulled away, both knowing that if they didn't stop now, they probably wouldn't at all._

_Meredith laughed as they pulled away from the kiss and Mark looked at her._

"_What's so funny?" He asked her as she kept on giggling. Mark loved her giggle, but he usually knew what the point of the laughter was. However, she was laughing right after a kiss, maybe his kiss wasn't that great this time around. _

"_Well…my make-out hair is more evident now." She laughed and then looked at the serious look on Mark's face and then rolled her eyes. "Mark, you know that I know that you are the best kisser ever, right?" Meredith asked him, keeping her arms around him, and pulling closer to his already close body. _

"_Yeah…just don't laugh right after a kiss again. Okay? Please." Mark asked her, kissing her lips softly again._

"_I promise." Mark smiled at her and then Meredith noticed that something was going on in the head of Mark Sloan._

"_Good. It hurts my ego."_

_Meredith's stopped thinking about what was going on with Mark, and just rolled her eyes. "Your ego is big enough." She smirked._

"_It is." Mark agreed, then bent down to kiss Meredith before whispering in her ear: "that's not the only big thing." Meredith put her hands against his chest and pushed him away, playfully. _

"_Mark, Mark, Mark." She said, shaking her head at him and watched his eyes get darker. _

"_I love when you repeatedly say my name." He laughed and kissed her lips once more._

"_I know." She smirked and kissed his lips once more before pulling away and grabbing his hand so that they could walk again._

"_Are we in a hurry to get home, Miss Grey?" Mark said, walking along with her. "Because if that is the case, it's the other way."_

"_I'm not thinking sex right now, Mark."_

"_Yes you are."_

"_No I'm not."_

"_Yes, you are."_

"_No…I'm not." She laughed, not looking at him._

"_You always think about it, Mer."_

"_Not always."_

_Mark stopped and Meredith was pulled back because of his sudden stop. Meredith turned back to him and looked at Mark._

"_What?" She asked him._

"_You just lied to me."_

"_No I didn't."_

"_Yeah…you did."_

"_How?"_

"_You just told me that you don't think about sex all the time, and I know you do."_

"_Oh whatever. I do not."_

"_Do you love it?" He asked her._

"_You know I do."_

"_Then you think about it all the time." He smirked at her. _

"_I don't."_

"_You don't have to lie to me anymore, Meredith."_

"_I'm not."_

"_Yes you are. It's okay now though, because I know that you love it."_

"_Mark." She whined._

"_Yes, Meredith?" He smiled at her and kept walking._

"_You are an ass."_

"_I know." He admitted and kept walking, Meredith slowly in tow, even if they were connected by hands. Her heard Meredith's soft giggle and they walked over to a bench. _

"_Meredith…" He said pausing and letting Meredith sit down on the bench. He kept standing as he looked down at Meredith._

"_Mark…if you think I'm going to suck you off right now you are crazy."_

_Mark laughed so hard that his face turned a dark red color._

"_Meredith…I'm not thinking about sex right now."_

"_Now who's the liar?" Meredith smirked and repeated his earlier question."_

"_Meredith…I know it's hard to believe, but this time I'm not thinking sex." Mark said that statement with so much conviction that Meredith knew that it was true. Mark looked at her and then got down on one knee. Meredith's heart was pounding, so hard and loud. The people passing by them, Meredith was sure that they could hear. Meredith's breath went ragged and she watched as Mark pulled a black satin covered box from his pocket. Mark took Meredith's momentary silence and told her what he needed to say._

"_Meredith Anne Grey." He smiled at her and the continued on. "I love you more than anything in the world. You are my everything and forever." He watched her as a smile grew on her face. "This isn't an engagement ring. This is something so much more meaningful. It's a promise ring. It's a ring to symbolize my promise to you." Mark laughed softly when Meredith let out the breath that she was holding. They weren't ready for marriage, they were happy where they were. Mark just wanted Meredith to know that he loved her more than anyone that he had been with before. Meredith was the only one that Mark had ever truly loved. _

"_Meredith…I promise to love you forever. I promise to be only yours. I promise to help you when you need me. I promise to be there for you even if you don't want me to be. I promise that you are the love of my life. I promise that you are the reason that I wake up in the morning. And I promise you everything that I am. Even if that isn't great, I promise myself to you. Someday, we may get married, but that's a long way off. We are both new to this love thing, so we are going to take our time. However…I want you to know that I love you more than anything else in this world. I will do anything for you. I promise. I love you Meredith Grey."_

_Meredith smiled back at him and then shook her head yes. "I love you too Mark. I love you so much."_

_Meredith reached for her ring, however, Mark it slightly out of her reach. "Meredith…I want to give you this ring. However, you have to promise me the same thing."_

"_I promise Mark. I promise you that I feel the same exact way." Mark smiled and gently pushed the ring on his forever's finger. _

"_I love you so much Meredith."_

"_I promise to love you forever Mark."_

"_Good."_

_They kissed once more that day to seal their agreement. They both loved each other, and it wasn't an empty type of love. It was a type of love that people yearned after. They loved each other so much, and they always would. They promised each other and they both knew even if they didn't make the promise they would still love each other as much as they did in this moment. _

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meredith cried as the memories overwhelmed her. She was keeping her promise to love him forever. Her heart still ached for him. She missed him, every second of everyday. Meredith still thought of Mark before she went to bed and when she woke up. She would always love Mark the way she did that day, because Meredith's heart was with Mark…wherever that was.

**So…I was going to make Meredith's fiancé Derek, but I just couldn't do that. I like Derek too. I think Meredith and Derek are good together, so I just couldn't do it. I hope you like this update. I will try to have another update soon. However, I don't know when that will be. Please comment. Always Love.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Narrow Stairs. **

**I don't have anything to say, so I won't say any more than I hope you enjoy this and I hope to see reviews. Thanks for reading and for being patient. There are some words in here inappropriate for young children, and the rating of this story may raise, I don't know yet. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. It's as simple as that. **

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He was not supposed to be here. He was not supposed to be back in New York City. His life had stopped here, he didn't know if he wanted it to begin again. Several years ago, the love of his life had left him because she thought that he needed more than her. Little did she know that he was him when he was with her. He was happy with her. He wasn't empty without her. His heart had left him years ago, and now here he was in the city that would forever hold his heartbreak.

That night is forever etched inside his mind.

He only wanted to further his life with Meredith. He thought that moving down to Miami would be the perfect opportunity. Yes, they had a great life in New York, but Mark felt as if it would get better down in Florida. There were great job opportunities and great colleges. Mark had checked about the colleges before he even brought up the subject to Meredith. He knew that Meredith wouldn't go if there weren't absolute great colleges down there, because Meredith was a independent person. That's what Mark loved most about her.

They didn't have to do everything together, but they did. Meredith had moved into his apartment slowly, even asked her to move in. She kept her apartment, but was really living in his. She was working towards a English degree, so she could become an English Literature college professor. Although a professor didn't make as much as a lawyer, Mark knew that Meredith wasn't going to be spending all of his money. This really didn't matter either way to Mark, because he loved spending money on Meredith, but sometimes women just got out of hand.

Mark didn't know this personally, but after watching his brother and his sisters spending money he knew that it got out of hand too much of the time.

Mark looked out the windows of his Aston Martin and watched as the buildings passed him by. He didn't know exactly where he was going, but he knew exactly where he was.

The light turned red and he stopped his car, looking his rearview mirror as the cars stopped closely behind his car. He glared, and then looked back in front of him. While he was waiting for the light to turn green, he looked at the various buildings around him.

There were the normal book shops, clothing boutiques, and the one reason he was here…bridal shops.

His heart stopped for a moment as he looked over at the bridal shop - the white dresses filling the windows, happy brides walking in with their friends. He shouldn't be here because of stupid bridal shops. He shouldn't be visiting New York the first time in several years. No. He should just be on his way to work or on his way to Meredith's house. He should be married to the love of his life right now. His heart shouldn't be shattered because Meredith was marrying someone else. No, this was not right.

The light turned green when Mark turned his head back to look out his front windshield. He drove quietly through the streets, headed for a friend's house just thinking about how his life had turned out this way.

Meredith and Mark were happy for the year that they were together. They were perfect for each other. She had problems, yet so did he. Meredith had mommy and daddy issues, and her one true companion was tequila – that was until he came along, or so she said. Mark, on the other hand was a manwhore before Meredith. He slept with all kinds of women. He wasn't happy with the fact, but it was just that a fact.

However, when he met Meredith he changed. He didn't want to sleep with other people, he just wanted to sleep with Meredith. Which sounded really weird and cheesey and so unlike himself, but it was the ultimate truth. When he met Meredith nothing in his past mattered, he just thought about a future with her.

They started out as a string of one night stands, just fucking for the pleasure of it. He loved how his body fit with his and how she moaned. Before Meredith, Mark only fucked a woman once because the woman was boring and he couldn't cum but with Meredith she made it fun. Her body made him rock hard, and just about everything else that that woman did was amazing and sexy as hell. She could do things with her body that he never imagined.

Mark shook his head from his dirty thoughts. He could not be thinking about the woman that was owned his heart, no matter how hard that was. Meredith was about to get married, he had to think about that, because she wasn't getting married to him. Meredith was marrying a _good but really ugly and annoying _guy as he had been told.

Although Mark was keeping away from Meredith, he had to make sure that he was okay – that was why he kept in close contact with her person, Cristina Yang. When Cristina had first told him that Meredith was getting married, he could have sworn that his heart had stopped beating but much more than that he started crying. Cristina told him all about the guy and that Meredith seemed happy, even if Cristina knew better. Cristina told him that he had to come back to New York and snap Meredith out of her current state of mind. Cristina told him: _ever since she left you, she has been a mess. She won't even try to find a better guy – she is tired so she said yes to Jason._

The woman that Cristina told him about every week when he called her was not the woman that Mark had fell in love with. Yes, he still loved her forever but Meredith was no longer Meredith. Meredith now seemed weak, yes she was trying to move on from him but she wasn't really trying. She was just finding the first man that would keep her not lonely, which surprised him. His Meredith promised his heart to him, promised to love him forever, promised him that they would be together forever. However, now Meredith was sitting in her apartment or with her fiancé…Mark couldn't get that through his mind. He couldn't accept that Meredith was marrying someone else. He wouldn't accept it and that was why he was back in New York.

A week ago, Cristina had called him after Meredith was choosing her dress and told him how she acted and Meredith's statement on the ferryboat. Meredith's statement gave him the courage to go back up to New York and get her back. Mark knew that it might be hard, but he had to believe that she loved him enough to let him back in her life.

He would explain to her that he loved her and that he had been making sure that she was okay ever since she had left him. He would tell her that he loved her so much that he would live in a ratty old apartment, that he would live in a cardboard box, to be with her. He needed to explain to her that she was his everything, always was and always would be. He needed to tell her how crappy his life was without her. But first, he needed to see Meredith.

Cristina had wanted to meet him before he went to Meredith's house, but Mark told her that he just needed to go because if he paused for a moment his feelings of fear would overcrowd his mind and he wouldn't go to Meredith's, no matter how much he wanted to. Cristina called him some words, but he didn't care. He was going to do what he needed to do his way. If he was going to get Meredith back he was going to fight like hell for her. If she told him that she loved this Jason guy, he was going to show her that she loved him much more than any feeling that she had for the other guy.

The other guy didn't matter. Cristina told him that they didn't act at all like a happy couple, Jason attempted it but failed because Meredith wasn't her true self. Jason was a great guy, but Meredith was never truly happy. She didn't smile the way she did when she was with Mark. She didn't really laugh. She tried to move on from Mark, but she failed miserably. This gave Mark the courage that he was doing the right thing and that he was going to get his forever back.

Mark drove through town a little further in, getting closer to Meredith's apartment. It was the same apartment that she had lived in when they were together, so Mark knew the way to her home like the back of his hand. He remembered the moments when he surprised Meredith and she complained about how she hated surprises. He was reminded of the walks back to her place from the movie theater, as he drove down her road. He was almost there and his hands were shaking, violently.

Mark parked his car and looked up to the fifth floor of the apartment complex, up to where her room would be. He looked for a moment before looking down to his hands, thinking of what exactly he was going to say because quite frankly he didn't know the words to use. He couldn't just go up there and tell her how much he loved her that seemed desperate. However, he was desperate, very desperate to have her back in his life. His life without her was horrible, but he couldn't act desperate even if he was in New York at her apartment. No, he couldn't be desperate. Meredith was the one that left him, not the other way around.

Mark took a deep breath before leaving the safety of his car. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, just like it did on their first real date. They had a simple date; they went to the movies and had dinner afterwards. That night he had learned so much about Meredith, more than what she was like in bed. Meredith ate so much food, more than he had seen a woman eat before. She wasn't afraid to say what she wanted to say. She looked just as good in clothes, as out. She made him smile and laugh, more than he ever had before. She just made him happy. Mark loved that about Meredith.

Mark walked towards the door, with the memories of their first date in his mind. He opened the door and walked over to the elevator, smiling when it opened up quickly for him. He stepped in and pressed the button for her floor, he watched as the doors closed but were quickly stopped when a shorter man with black hair walked into the elevator. Mark looked him up and down, wondering if this was the man that was Meredith's fiancé. If it was the man, Mark didn't have that much work to do. The guy wasn't that good looking, his hair was wavy and out of place, it kind of reminded him of what Derek looked like when they were just entering the teen years. However, Derek quickly got over the bad looks and his hair was good, but still not as good as Marks. But this man in the elevator with him, looked over thirty – maybe thirty seven? If this guy couldn't control his hair by then, Mark knew that he probably wouldn't get laid.

Mark shook his head as the floors etched closer to her floor, Meredith would not go for a man with horrible style and horrible health habits, that was not the Meredith that he knew. But then again, did he really know the Meredith that was now – that he did not know. He hoped that she hadn't changed that much, that would be too painful for him. He loved the Meredith that was his Meredith. His Meredith was perfect. She was beautiful, smart and funny. She was his.

The elevator doors opened and Mark walked out, the other man staying in the elevator. He was happy, he didn't have to worry about that being his competition. He walked down the hallway and to her door. He took another deep breath because his nerves were jumping everywhere. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, and rapped three taps.

He waited, wondering if she was going to be coming to the door. Did he even want her to be coming to the door? Could he handle seeing her? What was he going to do when she opened the door?

He didn't really have a choice when the door opened and he saw the woman that had his heart open the door with her small fragile hands and her blond hair cascading down her shoulders. She was looking down to the floor and he looked over her. He smiled when he noticed her in his Columbia sweatshirt and his matching pants, it was her favorite outfit. She thought it was comfortable and she wore it all the time when they were together. He never imagined her still wearing it.

Mark lifted his head back and was met with a sea of green, the kind of sea that you just want to jump into. He could read her and tell that she was nervous.

"Hi." He breathed, unsure of what else to say.

"Mark…what are you doing here?" Meredith asked, her voice shaking. However, Mark couldn't notice the pitch of happiness in her voice and her eyes. She was happy to see him, but she was still nervous. He could tell that she was nervous to see him once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five – Narrow Stairs.**

**Wooo…two updates in two days. I'm excited about that. Haha. However, I hope you don't get used to this. My readers know that I don't get updates out this quickly usually. I am busy with college, PSP and all the other activities I am in. Anyway…I hope that you liked this chapter, and I also hope that you guys review. I love your reviews. **

**I know that Mark and Meredith are moving a little quickly, but they do love each other. They really do, and they can't be without each other for long. When I say this, though, I do not mean that they will be together in a few updates. No, there with be ups and downs. Plus, Meredith is still with Michael. She may not love him like she loves Mark, but she still believes that she owes him a chance. **

**Have a great week. My next update will probably be Saturday, but I will try to have an earlier update. Always Love.**

**DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy is still not mine. Even if I wish it was.**

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"That's a nice way to say hello Meredith." Mark said when Meredith asked him what he was doing there. He knew that their hello wasn't going to be the greatest, but a part of Mark imagined Meredith jumping into his arms and kissing his lips – that was what he wanted. Most of him knew that it wouldn't happen, but it couldn't hurt to imagine something that he wanted so greatly.

"Sorry…" Meredith said looking down to her hands, pressing them together. Mark knew what she was doing. She was avoiding his gaze. However, Mark couldn't look away from her. She was just as beautiful as she was when they were together, even if her hair was in a messy bun and her make-up was running down her face. She was still beautiful. Meredith was the one woman that was beautiful to Mark no matter what she looked like.

"It's okay." Mark said shrugging his shoulders. It wasn't okay, but he couldn't expect for the woman in front of him to jump into his arms when she was engaged to another man.

"Can I ask though…what are you doing here?" Meredith asked still looking down at her hands.

Mark wasn't completely sure how to answer this question. He wanted to tell her the truth, but _Cristina told me about you getting married and I couldn't let that happen because I love you still…I love you so much_ did not sound right, and frankly it didn't sound like him. None of the thoughts going through his mind sounded like him, but then again nothing sounded like him when he was around Meredith. He was a better man because of Meredith. She didn't change him, he changed himself for her.

"I came to see you." It was the truth, he just left out the details that he came here to save her from destroying her life by marrying a man that he knew that she didn't love as much as him.

Meredith was surprised by the statement, and her head jerked up to look at him. She couldn't believe that Mark was here, looking at her the same way that he did when they were together, with a touch of heartbreak. She, also, couldn't believe that he was here in general. She was the one that broke his heart, she couldn't believe that he was here. So many questions through her mind, but the only one persistent one was asking why he was here. He shouldn't be here. She was about to get married to another man, and Meredith did not know if she had the heart to tell him about that fact.

As she looked at Mark, she wondered why she was with a different man. No man would equal him, she had dated one guy since him and she was about to marry him. However, Meredith knew that she didn't love him as much as she loved Mark. She knew that she wasn't able to love someone as much as she loved Mark. Mark was it for her, but she made the mistake of letting him go years ago. She let the love of her life go.

Meredith felt so stupid. She shouldn't have let him go, but it was the best thing for him. He wanted to go down to Miami, but she couldn't. So the only thing she could do was to let him go, no matter how stupid that was. Meredith knew that she could have gone with him, there were plenty of great colleges and universities down in Florida, and if they weren't as great as college – she could have went to college online. But…her mother taught her that she wasn't great, she wasn't good for anyone. Her mother taught her that no one would love her. Her mother taught her that would only ruin lives.

Mark had told her that this wasn't true. He wanted to spend his life with her, but she couldn't do that to him. Once you learn something, especially when you learn it from your mother, you can't change your mind. You can't. She has tried. So when a better job came along for Mark, she knew that she had to let him go, no matter how much it had hurt her. So, she shouldn't be hoping that he was here to save her from herself. No, she should be thinking about just being happy while she was engaged, even if looking for dresses wasn't the best way to be happy with her fiancé.

"You came to see me?" Meredith repeated, completely shocked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"What?" Mark asked, this time he was confused.

"Why did you come see me? I mean I am the one that hurt you. I was the one that left you, shouldn't I be coming up to you and telling you that I came to see you?" Meredith asked him. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to see him. No, she was completely ecstatic that he was here, even if she wasn't here.

"True. You are the one that left me, but I wanted to come see you." Mark shrugged again. She was right. She was the one that left him. She was the one that broke his heart. She was the one marrying someone else, but he had to come see her, before she made a mistake. He knew it was a mistake. Cristina knew it was a mistake. Meredith had to know that it was a mistake.

Even if Meredith had just told him that she was the one that hurt him, hearing Mark repeat the words was painful. She knew she was to blame for all of it, but hearing that she was…it wasn't any help – no help at all.

Meredith realized that he was still in the hallway, so she asked him: "Would you like to come in?"

Mark smiled - their smile – and walked in as Meredith pressed her small frame against the door. He looked around the apartment looking for a sign of her fiancé and then turned back to him, when he saw none – at least not in the front entrance. "Thank you."

Meredith smiled back at him and then walked into the living room. "You're welcome."

Meredith knew that she should probably tell him that she was getting married, but she couldn't let him know that. He was probably here to talk, and she couldn't ruin his night by telling him that she was married. She couldn't do that because she was supposed to be getting married to him. She was supposed to be planning forever with him. They should already be married by now. They should be happy and together and not apart, but here they were – Meredith was upset that they were here and not here forever. They weren't together. And they were apart. Their hearts were still together, at least Mark still had Meredith's heart, but they were still apart.

Meredith watched as Mark sat down on her couch, looking around her apartment looking for something. Meredith shrugged it off and sat down on the couch beside him.

"Were you stalking me?" She asked him, trying to make him smile again. She had missed his smile. She had missed him.

"What if I was?" Mark smirked at her, waiting for her response.

"Well I would have to say you did a good job of not showing yourself." Meredith laughed as she rested against the couch.

"I was very good. I hid myself very well." Mark laughed.

Mark couldn't believe how easy it was to get back into their easy playful banters. He couldn't believe that he could look at the woman that he loved and just smile and be happy even if the thoughts going through his mind weren't the greatest. He couldn't be happier as he sat down on her couch and just looked at her as a continuous banter had started after they had gone through the awkwardness of hello. Mark still had not told Meredith the real reason he was here, because he wanted to preserve the moment that they were sharing now. He just wanted to be happy with her. He did not want to think about the other man in her life. He just wanted to live in the moment and just be with her, because when she was around it made him feel safe and comfortable. It also left him able to breathe a little bit easier. He didn't care about all the corny thoughts going through his head, the thoughts pushing the bad thoughts away. All he knew was that he was happy and he was with Meredith, and that was all that mattered.

Mark watched as Meredith eye's turned from a light green to a darker green, usually it was a sign of happiness but he knew right at this moment that Meredith needed to tell him something. He could always read Meredith. It was so simple, but it seemed that he was the only one able to read her, and he was completely okay with that. He loved Meredith with his whole self, so he knew her even after years of being apart.

"Meredith…" Mark asked her as Meredith started tearing up.

"I'm so sorry Mark." Meredith said, putting her face in her hands, looking away from him. She couldn't be happy with him right there, right now when she was engaged to another man. She couldn't pretend that she wasn't married. However, she didn't know how to tell him. While they were bantering her head was telling her that she had to tell him, while her heart just wanted to kiss his soft lips.

"Meredith…" Mark repeated as he got closer to her. He guessed what was bothering her, but he wanted to hear it from her lips. He knew what she was about to say would be more painful than hearing it from her best friend, but he needed to hear it from her. It made it more real.

"Mark…you are going to hate me but I have to tell you."

"Meredith…calm down." Mark said as he put his hand on the small of her back running small circles over her back. Her breathing was ragged and he needed her to calm down. She had panic attacks when something really bothered her and he couldn't let her have a panic attack right now. Mark could not watch her go through another panic attack.

"Mark…Mark….I'm…so sorr…sorry." She said her breathing going everywhere, her whole body was shaking as she thought about what she was about to do.

"It's okay Mer. It's going to be okay." He said in a soft voice, trying to soothe her.

"No it's not." Meredith said, still breathing raggedly.

"Yes it is. I know what you are thinking." He said, pulling her body against hers.

"No…you…you don't…you don't know." She said, trying to calm down. She couldn't do this. She had to tell him.

"Yes I do."

"You can't know."

"But I do.." Mark argued, watching as her breathing calmed down and she looked over to him with red eyes, tears falling down her cheeks and messed up makeup.

"What do you know?" Meredith asked him, letting in a deep breath. He couldn't possibly know, could he?

"I…just tell me Meredith." He couldn't have her not tell him. He couldn't tell her that he knew.

"I'm…getting married. I'm so sorry Mark. I love you so much, but I'm getting married." Meredith blurted out.

"I know." Mark said, his heart breaking more hearing the words from Meredith.

"How…?"

"Cristina."

"Cristina?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Mark said, leaning away from Meredith. He couldn't hold her in his arms when she was getting married to another man.

"I love you Mark."

"But you are getting married to another man." Mark knew that he should be angry, but he got his anger out while he was down in Miami. He trashed his apartment and he ripped things. His apartment was a mess right now.

"But I still love you." Meredith said, hoping that he would know that it was true.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't be getting married…not to another man." Mark stated, standing up.

"Mark…" She knew that she couldn't say I love you again. No, that would be wrong. Who would believe her when she was getting married?

"It's okay. I dealt with it the knowledge that you were getting married, but I have news for you…" Mark stated.

"What?" Meredith asked confused.

"I love you more than he could ever love you, and I'm not letting you marry him that easily."

That was the last thing Mark said to Meredith before he walked out the door. Meredith watched him leave her apartment with determination in his walk and in his eyes. Meredith knew that what he told her was true, but he didn't know what exactly he was going to do. Mark being back in town panicked Meredith. She didn't want to cheat on Michael. He had been great to her. However, when she looked at Mark she had the urge to grab him and kiss him. When Mark was around her she felt wonderful, she felt complete. Meredith wondered how long Cristina and Mark had been talking, or had it just been a onetime thing. However, the one thing that Meredith wondered the most was when would she see Mark next.


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